Running in Circles

Do you ever feel like you are just running in circles and getting absolutely nowhere? I do. Boy do I ever lately.
I have a list of things that I want to do, it includes more sewing, cooking and being the kind of wife that I want to be.
I also have a list of things that I have to do.
1. Go to work
2. Go to school
3. Do homework
4. Pretend to sleep
5. Do it all over again.

I feel like I have no time at all for the things I love. I feel disconnected from my life. I have set a course and put myself on autopilot. I am getting so close to graduation, and the only enthusiasm I feel is just to be done. I don't really care if I find a different/ better job in accounting, I don't really like it anymore. Its sad to think that I have wasted all of this time, energy, and money on something I don't really want to do anymore. I keep hearing myself say it will be better when school is over, and it might be. I hope it is.

I know that life is all about making sacrifices for things that you want, and things that you need. But it really seems like a lot of sacrifices for stuff that I don't want, that I don't think have any chance of making me happy.

I feel like a hamster in a wheel, I am running and running to find something wonderful that is constantly out of reach.